The Jehovah's Witnesses have found me! They stopped by my apartment this morning while I was getting ready for work. I had just finished cleaning out the cat boxes, so I was carrying a bag full of poop when I answered the door. Somehow that felt appropriate.
Anyway, they showed up at my door wanting to know if I had heard of the Watchtower and if I was interested in learning more about the gospel of Jesus Christ.
'I am familiar with it, yes, but it isn't something I'm interested in.'
'May I ask why?'
I hesitated to bust out the 'A' word. I had to leave for work soon, after all. It would be best to get rid of them quickly. I decided on 'I'm non-religious'. That's fairly diplomatic, right? Big mistake. The guy perked right up. Now I was a challenge.
'When faced with all of the difficulties in the world today, don't you feel the need for God in your life?'
'No, they make me want to do something about it instead of relying on some God to fix everything for me.' Probably not the best time for bluntness, but I was getting annoyed and I already said I wasn't interested.
'You really need to read the message in this book. It is my gift to you.'
'I'm honestly already pretty familiar with this message. I've experienced several religions first-hand, and I'm not interested.'
'Ah, but that's what your problem is. You need to read about this. Take it and promise me you'll read it.'
'Look, I'm trying to get ready for work and I've been standing here holding a bag of cat poop for several minutes now. This is not really an ideal time.'
'All right, but take this book and read it. And don't use it on the cat poop!'
Darn, he saw right through me. I tossed my newest acquisition in the recycling bin instead and went on about my morning. I was of course plagued by ways I could have handled the situation better... 'eprit d'escalier', the wit of the staircase, as they say. I honestly don't know if I want them to return or not. I wouldn't mind the chance to represent myself better and actually have a real discussion about belief. If I can get them to agree that all religions are ideas about how the world works, then we could move on to some interesting stuff from there. But I have no reason to think these guys will listen or change their minds, which is super annoying. Guess I'll see what happens.